Getting Out of My Own Way

Posted on November 25, 2003 by Sara Hickman. | 1 Comment

There is nothing lovelier than the solid feeling of floating in confidence; not the cocky or educated kind of confidence, but the confidence that you can let go and just be and wondrous things are going to occur. A sort of getting out of your own way.

So, I went in the bathroom and said a prayer and smiled big in the mirror and laughed out loud before I went out on Friday and spread the love.

And then…oh my oh my oh my. The moments reflected all the song I have been trying to sing for the last 33 years…although so much of my life has been searching, painfully and honestly, in front of strangers under a spotlight with only my guitar as an anchor…as fear made me sweat or swear or think less of anything I was trying to do…Not of that was in the room with me.

It was as if all those years of touring and questioning and aching and chatting and
pushing and returning, always, to the questions of WHAT AM I DOING?! finally
let get of my hand and it made SENSE that I have been wanting to simply love. Not wanting to be perfect or admired or stroked (although who doesn’t like to be stroked? Come on!)…but to just be this guide back into all that is good and wonder filled and the pure energy of LIKING ONE ANOTHER!!!

I can see why the record companies always had to scratch their heads. Why some people enjoyed my talking in between songs, and some people wanted me to just stop. It wasn’t making sense to anyone else, either. (Well, no, that’s not true. I made sense to those of you who saw what I’ve been wanting to give, and you have liked the whole, the real, me all along. Thank you for that! )

I can talk and talk and then use a song to support the message, or lift and inspire that message…And it feels so yummy good! Talking is fun! And LISTENING is fun…using the opportunites to hear the audience, and react, and then listen some more…oh, the synergy in the room on Friday was SPECTACULAR. It was as if I was connected with every person in that room…What kind, smart, fun loving
people we have in the state of Texas working on behalf of all these children.
And how they share themselves right back when I share myself, too.

Oh, world. I know you groan under the weight of all the violence that is out there.
But have faith. Have faith that there are people who believe…

JUST LIKE IN THE MATRIX! Yes! I just saw REVOLUTIONS for the second time!
And we have to believe in the goodness of humanity outweighing the ugliness.

Look at me….I’m just a babbling away. Babble, babble, babble. I’ll stop.

But thank you to the Texas Department of Regulatory and Protective Services.
I place this experience in the top 5 of lifetime experiences. Thank you
for a wonderful conference, from Clay Roberts (the Thursday morning keynote speaker) to the coffee (what!? like I needed coffee?!) to the friendliness of all the folks to the hotel staff…just a flow of joy everywhere I looked.

I’ll be laying in my yard tomorrow morning for a wee bit, staring at the clouds and laughing. Join me, wherever you are, and laugh out loud, too!

One response to “Getting Out of My Own Way”

  1. t.a. says:

    i didn’t know you had a blog — and a place for comments. suddenly, the world has just gotten 48.3% better.

    when i got divorced, i stayed with a friend for a while, and he had your first two albums. i listened to them, and then i bought them, and i saw you in eugene (solo, in a tiny little hall) and seattle (opening for nanci; you break your guitar having way too much fun singing the train song), and i love your music. i love what you give, what you do, who you are. yay for you.

    please come to oregon again. (you can come wave howard dean signs with us.)


Upcoming Shows

Songbird Live!
Cleburne, TX
November 12, 7:30pm
» More info

The Backstage at El Mercado
Austin, Texas
December 3, 8pm
» More info

Open Door Coffeehouse
Arlington, TX
January 14, 7:00pm
» More info

McGonigel’s Mucky Duck
Houston, TX
February 11, 7:00pm
» More info