More Swap

Posted on February 20, 2005 by Sara Hickman. | 1 Comment

Read two blogs back so you will understand what I am writing about before reading on if you have no idea what I am talking about!


So, Kris, the angry woman, accuses Kristine of being a “sexual predator” (or “sexual offender”, I can’t recall now).
Lance and I could not believe it, nor could the other couple (the two women).

Kristine’s partner immediately jumped to her defense, aghast at what this woman has just said. Kristine is crying, trying hard not to, but tears are falling.

Kris goes on to say that she was terrifed to have her children with this woman for the last two weeks.

(Here’s what I am thinking: THEN WHY DID YOU DO THE SHOW? Why leave your children with ANY stranger for two weeks?!)

So, then, Kristine tries to speak, herself, and through her tears says that she did the show because she wanted to bring some joy to another family, and learn new things, and to show that her family is a good family. Basically, her intent was goodness. And that she is insulted that this woman would call her a sexual predator.

Kristine, to her credit, never counter attacks this woman…although, she could have said, “I find your prejudice repulsive and immature. I did not assume anything about you because of the color of your skin, your religious views nor the fact you are in an inter-racial marriage…Not so long ago, and to this day, people have held prejudices over these very matters. I ask that you get to know me, and my partner, before you make such stinging, broad
brush and false accusations.”

Kristine and her partner had every right to get up and walk out. They could have screamed at the top of their lungs.

But what she chooses to say showed her true colors. She chose to turn towards the husband, to remind the husband that he and the kids had a good time, that they enjoyed having her there, in their house…(A sign that Kristine is still focused on the positive, even after this woman has viciously attacked her on national television. And, she talks to the husband, through her tears. Tough and brave, I say!)

And then…to our disbelief, the husband says (I’m paraphrasing here), “I’m sorry you got that impression. That just isn’t true…”

Lance told me that while I was out of the room he learned that the husband had gone to a gay bar with Kristine and enjoyed line dancing, had seemed to really open up and enjoy himself, just like Kristine described. That the children had been happy and laughing with her in the house.

Now, when Kris finds out her husband did this, won’t it be considered a big lie? That her husband lied to her, on many levels?

I’m not clear on why Kris, or her husband, agreed to do the show…?

It seemed to me that:

The lesbian couple loved each other…I’m not saying they are perfect, especially since I only saw a tee-niny bit of the show… but they came across as geniune.

The heterosexual couple is living in denial. Kris has a tight rein on the family, their behaviours and
belief system…she is controlling, and controlling people lead lives of quiet desperation. The very thing they fear rears its ugly head and then, if they are brave, they face the realities confronting them, grow through the pain, and come out
a better person on the other side.

Gosh. There is so much hatred out there. And it all starts with our words, our body language…in the blink of an eye, we can make or break someone’s day….or heart…

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One response to “More Swap”

  1. Bill Detty says:

    You missed the part, earlier in the program, where Kris asked Nicki why she couldn’t just pretend not to be a lesbian.

    And when Kris said she was afraid Kristine would molest her daughter, I wondered if she’d have suggested that a straight woman might molest her teenaged sons.

    Anyway, it was an interesting show, more or less in the sense of the Chinese curse.

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