Creative Love and Public Apologies

Posted on January 20, 2006 by Sara Hickman. | 1 Comment

When I got to Curves this a.m. to work out, the ladies were talking about worst date scenarios. Ha ha! So, I told one, but that was really the only one I could think of, and it wasn’t even, really, that bad….but what I wanted to talk about was GREAT dates, cuz I’ve been blessed to have a lot of those….so, I’ll share one right now, one of the ones I told this morning.

When I was in high school, I had a tomato red Carmen Ghia…loved that thing! Not only could it go 110 miles an hour (not that I would know
that to be true, mind you) but it could FLOAT during any of the dreaded floods Houston is famous for.

I mention this car because it is an integral part of the story.

I was a senior, and I would pick up two younger classmates to carpool down to HSPVA every morning. One morning, we were sitting at a red light, when we all started admiring this very handsome man sitting in a blue, Toyota pickup next to us. He had a sort of John Lennon quality: brown wavy hair, aqualine nose, tiny, round glasses sitting on the tip of the aqualine nose.

The girls in my car started daring me to ask him out, and guess what I said? Yes, those of you who know me, you smarty pants, you know what I said. The rest of you, well, let me finish my story.

Egged on, I immediately put the car in park, hopped out and sprinted over to the blue truck. I rapped on his window, and after a glaring moment of surprise, he rolled the glass down and I said,

“Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime,” handed him a card with my name and number scribbled on it, and ran back to my car as a light sprinkle started to fall from above. The light changed just as I hopped back in the car, and off we went to school.

The girls were screaming laughing, and I was high on adrenaline. He had been even cuter up close, but mostly, I put it out of my mind after that day. Especially since the phone didn’t ring.


A month later, I went in to the dentist’s office for my dental appointment. There, on the receptionist’s countertop, was a dozen, lush red roses. The receptionist says to me,

“Did you see him?”

“Him? Him who?” I asked.

“The guy who brought you these roses….” she answered with a smile.

“What?” I was puzzled. Who would leave roses for me, a 17 year old dorky girl at the dentist office? I realized there was a card attached, so I slipped the note out of the envelope. It read:

Meet me outside.

I looked at the receptionist, she looked at me. I said,

“I’ll be right back…”

Excitedly, I rushed outside, and there, sitting on the curb, was THE GUY FROM THE TRUCK!!!!

Well, I plopped down right next to him, and that was it. We chatted up a storm, and we started dating, and we went out for quite some time, and that’s the kind of gentleman he was. He was charming, and funny, and always creative with his adoration. He was a good man.

And, you may wonder, where is this guy today? Well, I think he is in Colorado. Last time I saw him was many, many moons ago…in D.C. when I was on the tour with Windham Hill records and he showed up at the Birchmere. I even spent the night at his house, although I don’t think his wife liked me too much (I’d been out on the road with a bunch of male musicians, so….I’m pretty sure my banter wasn’t, how shall we say, reflective of my true nature nor very feminine. I apologize! Or maybe I was just artistic and she was a little more conservative and Gary and I stayed up too late chatting and that was making her uncomfortable….I don’t know. I just want to say thank you for letting me into your home and giving me time with an old friend!)

In fact, while I’m at it, I’d like to apologize to all of these people. You know that movie, “Phone Booth”? Have you ever seen it?
Well, it is quite an intriguing film in that it pushes one man’s psyche to tell the truth about everything in front of not only his loving wife, but complete strangers, television reporters, etc. It was intense and made me reflect on all the dumb, ludicrous, spontaneously stupid,
inappropriate things I’ve done in my life. And, you know what, it made me want to apologize to all the people I’ve ever hurt.

So, here are some folks I would like to make a public apology to (not in any particular order, just those that spill from my mind)…

I would like you to know that I am very sorry for making you uncomfortable, for hurting your feelings, for saying/doing anything inappropriate, for not being there when you needed me. I am grateful to each of you for the opportunity to learn from you, to
live with you, to love with you, to sing with you, to be reprimanded from those of you who gave me grief or pointed out what was upsetting you because of something I said or did.

Gary’s wife
Uncle Calvin’s
The audience at Uncle Calvin’s
The man who wrote the letter to Uncle Calvin’s and me
Mark E.
My mom
My kids, for when I’m exhausted and I need a time out
Lance, for when I’ve been pissy or rude
God, for when I’ve not been the best you request of me

I’m sure there’s more, but those are all the folks I can think of at the moment. Thank you for letting me start my new year in humility and I will do my best this year to be the best human being I can be, as a mom, a wife, a performer, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an artist
and a woman.

This is the beginning of the motherlode.

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One response to “Creative Love and Public Apologies”

  1. Delia says:

    Oh, you’re allowed to be human. There will always be jealousy felt by some women by such a beauty and talent as you- and you are a harmless one. Keep being who you are- even if you are altered for a while by life on the road with the guys. As much as we want to be our best all the time- we usually can’t be. We have stress and hormones and so much to do and the everchanging stages and needs of children to figure out. I know everyone in your family has got to be very forgiving of you- YOUR GOODNESS has got to outweigh any occasional imperfections you may have- like an elephant outweighing a mouse on a teeter-todder!

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