Feedback That Touched My Soul Concerning “Absence of Blame”

Posted on April 8, 2010 by Sara Hickman. | Comments Off on Feedback That Touched My Soul Concerning “Absence of Blame”

Dear Sara,

I wanted to say how much I appreciate 3 of the songs especially. The One, Broken and Size 6 Dress.

The One: My son hasn’t killed anyone. Still. He is a drug addict/alcoholic. Heroin, meth, pot, – pretty much anything. When the yogurt shop murders happened, he was brought in with others for questioning. I don’t believe he would/could ever physically harm anyone. But the people he ran with could and probably did. He is 38 and, for now, is not using heroin. But the alcoholism is progressing. 9 months ago he quit everything and I had such hope. Now I’m just glad he’s not under a bridge with a needle in his arm. When he was a teenager and on the streets, our younger son (3 at the time) had a classmate who was dying of a brain tumor. How everyone rallied around the family. Prayers were unceasing. And how isolated I felt. My son was dying also. Much slower and not of a “socially acceptable” disease. I have often felt like “the other mother.” So thank you for your words in this song. I have a feeling they will reach the hearts and souls of many “other mothers.”

Broken: My husband has chronic depression and is a Gulf War veteran. I have left him 3 times because his isolation was too much for me. I am again looking at that option. And I thought, this time, this time we’ll make it. “It” will never be that bad again. But the disease is powerful, cunning and baffling. His parents were also raging alcoholics and that, too, has left it’s mark. I struggle with my belief that I am not so hopelessly broken that I will ever find that lasting peace.

Size 6 Dress: I’m an Army Brat. (Ah – hence my own dsyfunction!) We were raised to look good. Form above substance. My Mom, at 81, still dyes her hair (and wishes I did!) and obsesses about how things “look.” My sisters, both younger, have had plastic surgery and followed diet after diet trying to fit into that all important form. And those are my demons also. While I may not practice those behaviors, the voices in my head often remind me how I’m lacking.

And so. Thank you again, Sara. I look forward hearing you perform both at future concerts. You have an amazing gift.
Thank you for sharing it.

With gratitude,
New Mexico

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